Uni Footwear: A story of betrayal.


I made a pact with myself; I would never wear thongs to Uni. Uni was about being hip, cool and trendy. Thongs didn’t fit into that brief. Thongs didn’t even fit into the brief of being an actual shoe. They’re more like partial shoes, or foot underwear. And I told myself “Sara, you will not be seen in public wearing thongs.” And I kept that promise, for almost an entire year.

I was doing great. I had worked as a casual in a shoe shop over the holidays and nurtured a healthy collection of shoes, so there was no shortage. Flats, heels, wedges, loafers, strappy, not strappy, black, white, neon, sequin. I had the lot. The fear of ever having to wear thongs was out the window.

I had that “It’ll never happen to me” mentality. Kind of like seeing a car crash on TV. “It’ll never happen to me”.

Then came that fateful day. It was end of year exam period, and I had an accounting exam at 10am. Now, for some strange reason thongs seemed super attractive that morning. The way they slid on with ease. The way their rubber soles cushioned my steps. They way they allowed me to breathe for the first time in what seemed like forever. And in that moment I decided; in order for me to pass that exam, I must be as comfortable as possible. And that meant I was breaking my promise. And that was a bad idea.

Fast forward to me arriving at Gardens Point campus at 10:05 am, jumping off the bus, and running at full speed towards S block. In thongs. And just because the universe thought plural wasn’t difficult enough, one of my thongs broke. Snapped. Clean off my foot as I ran past the library. I was running in THONG. I guess the supervisor took pity on the sweaty girl with one thong on, and I was allowed to sit my exam, missing 7 minutes of my perusal time.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t wear thongs, but in my opinion, they’re the most untrustworthy form of shoe. At least a five-inch heel promises pain. Thongs break when you need their support the most. And that’s why, for the rest of my university life, I will never wear foot underwear again.

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