So for those of you unfamiliar with QCS mythology- don’t worry, you probably have a life- it basically starts and ends with this one story.
In 2008, students in Victoria made a statewide pact to throw in a random mention of George Clooney into their equivalent of QCS. Subsequent generations have cried tears of laughter imagining the dwindling sense of reality and dawning realization that must have hit some poor government sod, as he marked thousands of papers, all related in some vague way to Georgie boy.
Since then history has become legend, legend has become myth, and for five long years, we have not seen anything like the Clooney-aclypse. Oh there have been attempts. In my graduating year we tried it with Chuck Norris. Other seniors attempted George Costanza, Severus Snape, and even Pedobear.
But I think this could be the year it works- if everybody could just agree to do it- and then actually do it. I’m talking to you school nerds especially. I was one of you- I know that you tend to flake out at the last moment.
So without any further ado- here are my four reasons why the Clooney Quest isn’t such a bad pot of chicken.
1. It strengthens your sense of QCS community
The whole reason why you have to take this stupid QCS test, is so that the state has an idea of what level your grade is performing at, so they can determine OPs fairly.
Let me put it bluntly- getting an A across all subjects at a school which is populated by you, and nine hundred neanderthals, is not going to be the same as getting A’s across the board, at a school with classmates smarter than Hermione Granger.
But whether you’re surrounded by total nerds or total cavemen (or most likely somewhere in between) QCS is the one time were the group mark counts. So why not have a little fun as a group? You’re almost free of these people forever.
Who knows- it might just make the test ten-thousand times more enjoyable for you and your less-than-enthused classmates.
2. Clooneyquest is actually in line with creative thinking- i.e. the whole point of the short story
Just throw him in there. All casual-like. You won’t just have your chosen group character barge in and end the story, just mention him, as a natural part of the story and move on.
Example of what NOT to do:
The robot had them cornered. Haldir ducked of its massive metallic blows and shoved Fiona out of the way. One of the robot’s shiny silver feet bore down on Haldir’s leg and he felt, and worse, heard, the pulpy crunch of bone. Suddenly, George Clooney barged in, killed the robot and saved Haldir and Fiona.
No. That is not how we jenga. We are better than that. Try to be subtle instead:
Mia tangles her fingers through her hair. The new jewel blue colour still doesn’t look right around her face. Mia throws another cautious look over her shoulder. Through the open door to her room, she can just make out the television, playing some corny old Clooney movie, and beyond it the closed front door. She hopes that her mum won’t be back until late.
3. This could be Jeff Bridges’ year.
I love Jeff Bridges. And I put my vote forward for him to be the George Clooney of 2013.
But seriously…the main problem is that we try to choose too intensely niche or popular characters and actors. The beauty of the George Clooney thing was that nobody could see it coming. George Clooney is somebody your mum likes. Not you.
Choose somebody who no-one of your age group has any particularly strong feelings towards. It’ll make it all the more surprising.
4. Some bored-out-of-their-skull QCS marker will probably dig the humour- even if they’re not allowed to officially say it.
If it’s subtle it could take the markers fifty papers to finally notice it. To be honest if I was marking, and an entire school managed to mention Jeff Bridges in this totally imperceptible way- I wouldn’t be offended. I’d be friggin’ impressed. I’m not saying that QCS markers would be- but then they aren’t as cool as us anyway.
If you do it right- it could just be an added gift. Nothing extravagant- but years later, polishing your old university degree, you could say to your grandkids ‘yeah- I was there during the second Clooney-aclypse…
…It was mad.’