Number two.

Well, there goes Easter.

Bummer. The good news is, though Christ has died 2011 times (and counting), He still comes back every year for supper with enough bread and wine to go around. And because He’s such a nice guy, bunny rabbits get really happy this time of year, and we all get to benefit from the chocolate eggs they lay. Feel free to correct me but I’m pretty sure that’s how the story goes.

In more personal news, it has been so nice to see so many people reading and commenting on the Student Blog – well done peoples. Before you and I start to develop this tender loving mutual appreciation for each other, though, I would strongly suggest you get yourself a Gravatar (nevermind mine isn’t working – there is still hope for you). Gravatars are your best friends if you’re going to get involved (or read this blog when you’re supposed to be starting your draft, which is due tomorrow, when suddenly I become prime entertainment to your procrastinating soul). Besides, it’s only fair that I get to know what you look like. And when I say look like, believe me, I am giving you complete creative freedom. You can crop a photo of a pony. You can crop a photo of Bieber. You can even get really artsy and fill your picture square in solid black, and call yourself Mr Morpheus. It’s better to be a stylish procrastinator, at the best of times.

So now that I’ve handed in my first few assignments, uni is starting to feel a little bit more natural. It feels like we’re getting cozy, in a way. You know when you first start attending uni and someone asks you at work, what uni do you go to?, and you’re so damn excited about the whole thing that you end up telling them not only where you go, but what you study, the year you’re in, the days you attend and the outfits you wear, trivia that any other human being (apart from your mum) could care less about? Well, I am proud to announce I’ve been there and done that. But the honeymoon, I think, is over.

Losing that giddy excitement was good. For once, eighteen year-olds on campus don’t scare me anymore. For a moment there (not exactly, it was more like a month) I thought I was losing my shit and had become an anti-social goblin who preferred the company of cats and inanimate objects instead of people – some would call this the lone ham sandwich complex (not me though).

However, after dusting off the thick layers of anxiety which my thick skull insists on gathering, I’ve realized I don’t need to be afraid of youngsters. If you’re nice enough, they’ll embrace you. And if you’re smart enough, you should realize cold kids (not to be confused with Cold War Kids) are just a little insecure. I personally think fear is a waste of time, so I’ve started developing this firm idea that I should just wing it and be myself. Voila – it’s working.

But enough about my social adventures – how about the school work, mate?, you say. Yeah it’s great thanks mum. I am a semi-motivated individual with a (somewhat) consistent work ethic so I am doing fairly well I think. Some kid in my tutorial was saying how he was losing motivation, and losing it fast. Well. I can see how that can happen with the excitement of being a (pardon the American pun) freshman suddenly gone. But work ethics are work ethics. If you’re finding it hard to stick to routine, and deadlines, it’s probably because you have no routine or regime at all. So it’s time to get a grip, I say. Take the Alice Regime One-Week Challenge, a little something I compiled especially for you.


The Alice Regime One-Week Challenge

~ – underpinning tips regarding motivation – ~


by yours truly


1. Make your bed every morning.

That’s right matey, get those corners nice and crisp and shake off the crusty pillows. Making your bed in the morning ensures that a) you don’t crawl back into it after you’ve had your morning muesli, and b) you don’t feel depressed about the mess in your room when you come home at 9p.m.

… If you still live at home: frankly, it’s high time you made your own bed. The only thing your mum should be still making for you is her signature meatloaf dish.

2. Wash the goddamn dishes every once in a while.

You’d be surprised to find out that the more you’ve got to do, the more efficient you become at managing your wasted youth. Washing dishes not only gives you softer hands and a reason to stare out the window, it makes you feel productive. Isn’t it nice to feel productive? Besides, your nan will love you for it. Now get on with it.

3. Read a few chapters of a book every night.

Again, this is about routine. Make yourself do things that are both productive and relaxing. Twiddling with your iPhone in bed as the light of dawn washes over your bedroom is not.

4. Be friends with the QUT Library.

But not too friendly please. Do you really need to take your socks off and sprawl? The reason why most people study at the library is because it doesn’t resemble their house. The library is like a clinic of the studious. It is clean, bright, full of cool books and soft plush chairs. So keep it real and get cracking. Leave at 10pm at night feeling exhausted but accomplished. Feel proud your taxpaying money goes there. Go there also.

5. Watch Limitless.

And identify with the main character. Go home and pretend you are the main character. Pretend for about three hours, then get really depressed. Download it on your computer and model your life after it. Become a fan of shows like Survivor and The Apprentice which glorify motivation. Suddenly develop superpowers. Tell no one.

If none of this works, write back to me, and swear profusely.

On my next post: blogs you should know about instead of wasting time on Facebook, why Brisbane breeds bands like Ikea sells hot dogs, getting your shit (read: your artsy stuff) out there, and more.

3 responses

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  1. Avatar

    > “The good news is, though Christ has died 2011 times (and counting)”

    Western calendar is counted from the Christ’s birth. So, it would be 1981 times.

    • Avatar

      Thanks Denis. Nice lil’ Gravatar you got there.

  2. Avatar

    haha love your one week challenge. I think i can stick to at least 4 of them. And after watching limitless, i think I had like super-powered motivation lasted for a week. May be if I watch it over and over again, I’ll have limitless motivation (fail pun intended). And it can be my NTZ :O

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